work dynamics

This week I started training in the IV room at work. I'm still figuring out the team dynamics and have had many impressions! Much like when I first started at LVHN, my strongest feeling is surprise/amazement. How are they getting away with this?? 

To give a little background information, there are strict regulations regarding sterile compounding that are enforced by the FDA and other organizations because the IV's we make have potential to harm patients if they are contaminated. When I first started making IV's, I was introduced to these rules by the pharmacists and technicians who trained me. Most of my knowledge was gained from them, but I also did some lessons and watched videos. As a new employee at LVHN, I've been assigned a more intensive course of lessons and tests I have to do before beginning sterile compounding. It's quite informative and in-depth, and I actually enjoy studying and learning the regulations. Part of my days have been spent observing in the clean room, helping with labeling and other minor tasks, while the rest of the day I'm in a quiet area studying. 

There's a BIG difference between my studies and reality. LVHN's facility is not up to standard regarding clean room construction and design, and their practices do not follow the requirements. They are aware of this, and recently got a new manager who is trying to remedy things. Since the rooms are not designed the way they should be, there's only so much that can be done. Employees can and should be required to follow the rules, though. However, I've observed very poor compliance in hand washing and garbing. One of the techs was caught going into the clean room to compound WITHOUT WASHING HIS HANDS. This is wrong on so many levels, and I can't believe he didn't have the personal accountability to know that even though he might get away with it, his actions could harm someone. That's just one example. I've seen other things happening that would've never been allowed at St. Joe's. You would've got yelled at. Sometimes their strictness and rigidity annoyed me, but now I see that's much preferable to leniency. We also frequently had inspectors come in and we had to always be ready for that possibility. I asked the person who was training me about that, and he said they don't get inspected very often. He also mentioned he was suspicious of corruption, and I'm beginning to think there's something to it. 

Some of the people who work in the main pharmacy have the impression the IV people consider themselves "the elite" and won't talk to the lowly people working outside of the IV room. I can see why they have that impression. I was told the IV people are a tough group, and I can see why I was told that, too. I'm not sure where I'm going to fit in with all that. There are some very strong personalities in there, people who are polar opposites of me. I was even told (jokingly) today by one of the techs,"You can't talk to those people (in the main pharmacy) anymore if you want to be part of the IV team." I let him know I wasn't going to be like that! They're a small group within a larger group, and that could feel more comfortable. On the other hand, I kind of get the feeling if I don't want to be part of their "clique" I won't be accepted. There's definitely some who have attitudes about other techs, and they talk disparagingly of them. Apparently to be an IV tech you have to be a bit of a drama queen/king.

To a certain extent, I'm not even trying to be accepted because my lifestyle is so different from theirs I might as well be from another planet. Music is a HUGE part of the atmosphere there, and they usually have it blasting in the clean room. It's the type that's on the opposite end of the spectrum from gospel music. I was told today that there are limits on the volume and type, but I wouldn't have guessed it. Apparently there have been times when people walking down the hallway on the other side of the clean room have complained of loud, inappropriate music being played. That's just another example of rule flouting, since it definitely would not be recommended to play music in a clean room environment. The person who does stats is in charge of music selection, because they have the most intense job and it helps them focus. What happens when I'M that person?? 😅 I mentioned to Cliff tonight that if anyone wants to feel like a pilgrim and stranger they should try working in the kind of environment I'm in. 

After the last post I wrote on my job, I had some questions on why exactly I'm not happy there. Maybe what I've written here will make that a little clearer. There's more I could say about it, but I think this is long enough for now!

April book club + bonus book

Here's the details on our April book club (a bit late) and our next book!

March pick / April discussion 

Roots of Wood and Stone

By Amanda Wen

Christian fiction

☆☆☆

This is Amanda Wen's first book, set in Sedgwick County, Kansas. Some of the characters are loosely based on her pioneer ancestors. 

The story flips between current day characters Sloane Kelley and Garrett Anderson, and nineteenth century pioneer Annabelle Collins, whose diaries Garrett found while cleaning out his grandmother's old farmhouse. 

I enjoyed the storyline, especially Annabelle's diaries. The romance between Sloane and Garrett was rather distracting and at times cringey.

Overall Roots of Wood and Stone is a quick, easy read. I seldom read Christian fiction, so this was a different genre to explore. And that's one of the reasons to be in a book club! 

I look forward to our discussions every month. It's always refreshing and fun to get together for some quality book-discussing time!

Camille picked The Happiness Project for our next book. I loved it when I listened to it, and I'm expecting it will take a while to read a hard copy because I'll be highlighting and taking notes every other paragraph! It's something I wanted to do anyway, so this gives me a deadline.

Now, a bonus book.

A Year in Provence

By Peter Mayle

Nonfiction 

☆☆☆☆☆

After seeing A Year in Provence recommended by another blogger, I listened to it on my day off. Not a long story, but absolutely brimming with warmth, humor, and food. It's next best to actually traveling to France! The author has a wonderful sense of humor, and hearing him read the book made it even more impressive. Also? A brilliant first line.

"The year began with lunch." 

It perfectly sets the stage for what's to come. 5 stars!

a confession

With hesitation and uncertainty I begin this post. I've been told for as long as I remember that I'm too negative, too dark, to be content, and be thankful. And it's all true. I know I have much to be thankful for. But I also feel discontent and there's a mountain I face every day. The truth is, I dread going to work. It's literally sapping my strength, or else there's a deficiency of some kind in my body because I have no energy in spite of many vitamins, exercise, and pep pills. I fear this is the beginning of a slide into darkness. I know the signs, I've been here before. But I don't see a way out. Why would I quit after I felt this was the right thing to do? Nothing else has opened up. Even though there was much better camaraderie at my old job, there were too many other issues and I wouldn't want to go back. It would be ridiculous to quit a job that provides decent income, health coverage for me and my spouse, paid time off, and a consistent schedule. And what would I do? Is this how everyone else lives? Just slogging through, doing their job. 

Or is it all in my attitude? "Change your outlook," I can just hear the positive people saying. "You have it so good! I'd love to do what you're doing!" So what's wrong with me? 

At this time, keeping on seems the only option. I'm trying to look at the positive, but confess it doesn't make me feel any different inside. I hate putting on a false happy and acting like everything is "fine, fine." I felt a need to get my true feelings out. I apologize if this sounds whiny, I really don't want to complain, or even talk about myself. But I'm reading a book where the author is shining a light into her personal darkness and failure to meet her own standards, and it's profound. I wonder what would happen if I did that? 

You will be hearing more on the book, but for now I'll just say it's been enlightening.  

oh, spring!

Golden sunshine

A field of brilliant spring green

Luscious yellow and white daffodils

Forsythia branches of brightly colored blossoms

And yes, even the dandelion

Is balm 

For winter-clouded eyes.

Have you noticed 

In early spring

When trees are still bare of leaves

How dazzlingly bright the sun streams

through their uncovered branches?

Warming the earth,

Waking it from its cold, dark slumber.

Or the abundant hues

Of green and gold

In grass, flower, and hedge?

Yellow

Means hope, laughter, and sunshine.

Green

Is optimism, health, and new beginnings.

In the drab of winter 

I forget how radiant

Is the spring.

And every year

I marvel

At its colors, sounds, and effect

On my awed, enraptured soul.