real life complications...and blessings

One of the things that really bothers me is complaining. Is it possible to talk about negative situations we find ourselves in without complaining? Because I don't want to complain, sometimes I refrain from verbalizing my anxiety or negative feelings about something. Eventually it becomes too much, though, and I can't continue internalizing it. I'd really like to know what is the proper way to handle these circumstances. 

I'm writing this post hoping it will help ease some of the anxieties I've been experiencing by putting them into words. I don't know if I can do it in an uncomplaining way, but that is my wish. Unfortunately, this will be another epistle on covid, so you might want to stop reading here if you've already had enough! 

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm currently not working because of Cliff testing positive. This came at a bad time, due to my changing jobs. When I had to quarantine earlier this year, I was paid for my time off. This second time, I only get paid for 3 days because I've reached the maximum quarantine pay allowed. Now the soonest I can start at LVHN is January 11, which leaves me 3 weeks without pay. Cliff was also off for a week without pay, and frankly, we haven't managed our finances as wisely as we should have and there's no extra funds readily available to see us through. I'm having a hard time not stressing about the money/job situation and it's given me insomnia. 

To make things worse, I received a call from LVHN employee health today, and was asked some straightforward questions about how I've been observing quarantine. To give the right answers, I would've had to lie. Some of the questions I was asked - "Are you sleeping in a separate room from your husband, using different bathrooms, wearing a mask when less than 6 feet away from him?" The only way I've quarantined is not going to work or church. I've been with family and all other normal activities. I was told I can't go out for groceries or gas, travel anywhere, be with anyone outside of my household, etc. during this time, and my starting date is on hold until I've successfully quarantined. I don't know how I'm expected to live under such strict regulations, and I'm strongly opposed to an employer telling me how to live my private life. My rebellious streak is highly agitated and I feel desperate. It seems impossible to be honest and comply with rules I find absurd and unattainable. But I really need to go back to work soon, which leaves me feeling trapped. The only conclusion I've come to is lay low and wait and see what happens. Maybe by some miracle I won't have to answer such intrusive questions to be cleared for work.

Now on a more upbeat note - putting aside all the complications, having time off is fantastic!! I have time to go on walks, read, set puzzle, and tackle our budget dilemma. I've experimented with sourdough for the first time and in spite of not following directions correctly, made some tasty cinnamon rolls and bread. More exercising will be necessary. Ideas for blog posts are brewing, and plans for a housewide purge of unused stuff. We're healthy, have food to eat, a comfortable home with everything at our fingertips, and many more blessings. This too shall pass. 

I firmly believe "God is still good." That song has given me courage over and over.

God is still good when the waves roll high

God is still good all through the night

When I've done all I can and I don't understand

God is still good

Clouds of doubt may darken the way

But showers of blessing may come any day

He'll bring me through and I'll stand and say

God is still good.