January 5, 2019

confessions of a melancholic

I'm so excited that it's Friday night and I have the weekend off! Truly, not having to set an alarm is one of the best feelings. Since I know I don't have to get up in the morning I'm wide awake!

As I mentioned before, I am genuinely surprised at how many people have told me they enjoy this blog. Thank you for the kind comments. It makes me feel a little guilty, though. I don't want to portray myself as something that I'm not, so I want to make it clear that my life is FAR from ideal or perfect. Although my writing may sound happy and positive, in reality I struggle with being the exact opposite. Since my life is different from most of my peers, I feel like I'm somehow missing the mark because I'm not a dutiful housewife. Most nights I'm too tired when I get home from work to prepare a decent meal. Having company looks impossible to me because if I'm not working I just want to spend time at home and get caught up on wash and things around the house. As an introvert, being with people can be exhausting and I feel like I don't know how to relate to others. Somehow I can write things that would be hard for me to say, but talking about my life and feelings seems self-centered and I didn't think people would want to hear about it anyway. That's why it's been surprising to hear that others find it interesting!

On the other hand, I do feel like I'm blessed and my life is rich in so many ways. I want to be the person God wants me to be, and accept who I am. That's something I need to grow in. I appreciate your encouragement!

9 comments:

  1. 'Somehow I can write things that would be hard for me to say' ...this is so me! And even tho I love my life and kids like crazy, there are definitely days I'm jealous of friends like you! AND just because I'm at home does NOT mean there's a good supper fixed, clean house, and lots of company! 😊

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    1. Well, that is interesting. I guess no matter what our situation is, we all go through times of discontent. I'm sure being a mom is tough - courage to you!

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  2. I can identify with you too! I really enjoy reading what you are writing! You have a talent there, keep it up!

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  3. I think I could just copy the 1st comment 🙉🙈

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  4. I have thoughts on this matter.

    1. I feel like sharing your heart and life on this platform is HOSPITALITY.

    2. I wonder if we all struggle with something?? Like I have ONLY TWO kids (not the normal four) and still I feel inept and like I can't keep up, and definitely not normal. And I was going to say more, but I think I'll stop.

    3. The Jan 5 daily Bible reading quote by Myles Munroe is sooooooo good.

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    1. You have some excellent thoughts, Rhonda! I never considered point #1, but I'll try to remember that. Thank you!

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  5. I love this post! And can totally relate too! I think we all, no matter our situation, struggle with this! Like I don’t feel “normal” either, we are choosing to have only ONE child, my hubs in not in the church, etc etc. But it’s my normal! So I try with God’s help to be OK with it and not care what others think! Easier said than done. I always wanted to go to the mission somewhere foreign and exotic and really help and touch peoples lives, but I’m trying to realize my little mission is right here in my own home and I need to be happy with folding laundry. Our guest book lasts for YEARS too, lol 😆

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    1. Awww Sharon, my heart goes out to you. Sometimes it seems the hardest thing is accepting that life didn't turn out how you dreamed it would. But we can still be happy with God's help, like you said!

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  6. To everyone who has commented, thank you! You probably have no idea how much it blessed me!

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