one day at a time

It's nice to be needed. But being desperately needed can be draining. That's how it feels at work these days. We battle overwork, stress, and exhaustion daily as we try to keep up with the demands of providing drugs to so many sick patients. We simply don't have enough people to carry the burden. Weekends are especially tough, since we operate with a skeleton crew but no decrease in work load. Last weekend was my turn to experience how overwhelming it can be. I have to remind myself I've made it through before so I can do it again! On Sunday morning I was near tears as I thought of facing another day. Thankfully it was no worse than Saturday and I had a good pharmacist to work with. 

I've read news stories of people who have covid but are still convinced it's not real. Now we have a covid positive patient who's being treated for the virus but thinks he just has a bad cold. When the doctor asked if he wanted to be intubated if he got worse, the patient responded he'd rather die than live through four years of a Biden presidency. 😄 I'd find it hard to believe this actually happened if I didn't know it was true! 

I've grown unhappy with my inconsistent work schedule and management issues over the past while. A couple months ago I updated my resumé and applied to a few positions, thinking I'd see if anything happened, but not seriously looking. To my amazement, I soon got a call, an interview, and a job offer at Lehigh Valley Health Network. It seemed like things were falling into place, but I had a hard time making the decision. The older I get, the more I hate change, and St. Joe’s feels comfortable and familiar after four years. I love my coworkers, who know and accept me. The LVHN Cedar Crest hospital is at least five times the size of where I work now, and I'd have to start all over making friends, finding my way around, and learning how a different pharmacy operates. However, I decided to take the opportunity and will be starting there December 28. It was super tough telling my boss that I'd found a different job when we're already short staffed and struggling. My feelings swing from terrified to excited to anxiety and sadness when I think about it. I still feel I made the right decision, but it's been really hard on me. I'll be thankful when the first six months at my new job are past. Right now I only feel a sense of loss for the friends and familiarity I'll be leaving. When I think back to other changes life has brought, I remember being scared before taking the big step, but usually it worked out just fine. I'm trying to stay positive, not overthink, and take one day at a time, but I'll admit I haven't been very successful at that!