the in-between time

Weather really affects my mood. The end-of-summer feeling is dragging on, and true invigorating fall days are not yet here. It's hard to feel inspired in this in-between time.

Today was a good day though. After working until 11 last night, I slept late and lounged around all morning since it was my day off. It was the perfect gray rainy day for idleness. I continued in this manner all day, and didn't accomplish anything more than a trip to the grocery store, a load of wash, and cooking supper. The rest of my time was spent reading and napping. What luxury!

I'm trying to embrace having a day like today without feeling slightly selfish and guilty, but haven't fully accomplished it. We're so trained to make efficient use of our time and achieve a standard of being a good wife/homemaker/mother/employee and that can be exhausting. I've found it refreshing and uplifting to my mental health to have a day to completely relax without having a to-do list. But there's this little voice in the back of my mind that says, "You're slothful and lazy. You should've sewed/cleaned/done this or that instead of wasting the day away." Is this voice the truth? Or is it alright to practice self-care by occasionally doing exactly what we like? Mothers probably never even have a chance to experience a lazy day and that makes me feel even more convicted, but also privileged!

To chase away the seasonal blues, I sit on my deck and soak up the sunshine on a nice day. Getting outside and walking is another boost, but takes more effort. I faithfully walked for a month or so until I began having knee pain like I've never experienced. It was so painful it affected my energy at work so I've taken an extended break. I really want to try again soon, maybe with a knee brace. I guess I'm aging!

Tomorrow is back to work. The following quote is really quite true for me, so I will continue taking time for relaxation and self-care and try to look at it as a way to recharge and make my work even better!