May 28, 2021

daily living

The last while I've felt like I had nothing worthwhile to write about. Life has seemed rather discouraging lately. I'm getting older, I feel stuck in my job, household chores are a drudgery, and I lack the energy to meet my own expectations. I don't mean to sound unthankful, because I really have it made in so many ways, but I don't think I'm the only one who goes through times like this. I know "this too shall pass." Also, one of my takeaways from rereading The Happiness Project is that being happy takes an effort. 



Actually, my job is not as much of a drag now that I'm in the IV room. I definitely have clarity on this - sterile compounding is my niche within the pharmacy world. I wouldn't last long in pharmacy if I was only doing the routine work. There's a few new things I had to learn in the IV room, but the basics are the same. At LVHN, they have a much larger volume of compounding, and there's 4 roles the day shift techs fill. Everyone rotates through the positions of manufacturing, syringes, fill list, and stats.



Most people dislike syringes the most, and I have to agree. In one shift it's very likely you'll do over 1,000 syringes, and it's time-consuming but monotonous. I actually got blisters after training on syringes for a week! The fill list and stat positions are for patient-specific doses that aren't made in a batch. There's a program we use where you take pictures of what you do, and that's how the pharmacist checks your work. For example, I have to make a dose of acyclovir in normal saline. In the dispensing program, I scan the patient label, the normal saline bag, and acyclovir. Then I draw up the correct amount of drug, and take a picture of that syringe beside the vials of drug and the saline bag. Then I inject the drug, seal and label the bag, and take a picture of the finished product. The program also tells you exactly how much drug (in mLs) to draw up, so it's not as critical to do the math, but there's other things we do, like Botox, where you have to do a lot of math. 



Botox was something I had to learn how to do. They do quite a lot at LVHN (generally not for cosmetic purposes), and doctors order it in different strengths so we have to figure out things like this: the concentration needs to be 5 units per 0.1 ml, and total dose is 300 units. There's only a few tiny grains of drug per 100 or 200 unit vial, which gets diluted with normal saline. How much saline do you add to the vial to get the correct concentration of 5 units/0.1 mL? There might be 4 or 5 different concentrations and doses to figure out, and it can get confusing pretty quickly. I like the challenge, though! 

Relationships between the IV techs are kind of treacherous. Some don't get along, and everyone knows it. Depending who you're with, you'll hear a lot of trash talk about others. I'm mostly quiet because I can't relate to a majority of the things they talk about. By the end of my shift, I'm definitely ready to leave it all behind. Thinking of staying there long-term is not a very happy thought, but I have no other good option so I'm trying to resign myself. 

What I'd really like to do is live and work in another country for several months every year. Something that involves writing and reading. 😄 Dreams, dreams, I know.

May 13, 2021

books to make you cry + rating criteria

I've been in the mood lately for books that make me cry. Maybe that sounds strange, but I enjoy those! Tearing up while reading a book is quite normal for me, but I'm thinking about the ones that make you want to lie on the couch and dissolve in a puddle. I need a few more in my life, so I'd like to hear what books make that list for you! Two books immediately came to mind, although I'm sure there's more. Interestingly, these books are also on my 5 star favorites list. 


A Tale of Two Cities 
Charles Dickens
Historical fiction

Brilliant story telling, tremendous love and sadness, beautiful writing, history... this book checks all the boxes for me. Not to mention it also starts with my absolute favorite first line. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... 

I reread A Tale of Two Cities this winter, and yup, ended up in a puddle. 

If you don't know much about the French Revolution, educate yourself on the bare basics before reading this book. It makes it much more comprehensible.



The Book Thief
Markus Zusak
Historical fiction 

Not only is The Book Thief a truly sad story, it's exquisitely written. I love the writing almost more than I love the story. The dark humor, the fact it's narrated by Death, and all the wonderful quotes - I will restrain myself from gushing, but believe me, I COULD. 

However, I must post some of these amazing quotes. 






I am in awe.


Now, on to another book-related topic. I like to give the books I read a star rating from 1 - 5, and have been thinking I need to define what each star means. There's a variety of opinions on this, but I found something that matched my thinking and decided to adopt it as my standard. I found myself giving many books 4 stars, but according to this measure, some of them would only be 3. 

5 stars: it was amazing! These are the books that pull me in and make me feel, I can't stop thinking about, take me on a journey, or give me new thoughts and ideas. Books I'd like to own a copy of and cherish (although I read a lot, I rarely own hard copies).  

4 stars: I really liked it. A great book, one to recommend. It holds my attention and is good entertainment. Doesn't have the "wow factor" of a 5 star.

3 stars: I liked it. Not super remarkable, but still a good read.

2 stars: It was ok. Not awful, but not great either. These books are a waste of time.

1 star: didn't like it. A book that is boring or inferior in some way, one I would never recommend. I may not even have finished it.


I'll be waiting to hear what books make you cry! 😀