July 26, 2020

still waters run deep

I've been asking myself a question in regards to this blog and haven't figured out an answer. 

Recently I was told (again) that I live a life that's "all about me" and I know it's true. It seems so repugnant to be that kind of person. I haven't yet found a way out and feel this is just part of the journey I'm on right now. In taking stock of everything I do that is self-centered, I've wondered about this blog. It truly IS all about me. Yet some have mentioned it's a way of giving myself to others by sharing my life and thoughts. Writing is the easiest way for me to communicate, and maybe this is how I can connect with people. The downside is that I write things I'd probably never say, thereby opening myself to criticism. As a side note, I do appreciate constructive criticism and know I need to learn how to better handle all types of criticism/reproof. 



Maybe one of the reasons I find it hard to talk is because I have low tolerance for "fluff" but it seems you need a certain amount of it to carry on a conversation. When I write, I can talk about "real" things and be honest with my thoughts. I love it when people are real and aren't just putting out a culturally acceptable version of themselves. The above quote and title of this blog reflect my thoughts down that line. But where is the balance between accepting who you are and trying to blend in? 

Since writing is how I process my thoughts and feelings, maybe I should do it solely for my own benefit and stop blogging. I'm not necessarily looking for input, just stating my thoughts so others will understand if I decide to permanently delete this.

6 comments:

  1. As someone who has filled similar shoes, I applaud your willingness to step out of the comfort zone our circles afford us. It's dark out there and our Father needs those who can share His Light.

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  2. I feel too that you’re sharing real life outside of the little Mennonite bubble! I have loved all your post and really hope you don’t quit! I also believe anyone who works in the medical field and is passionate about their job is not living just for themselves! You’re quietly helping many many people behind the scenes. 😘

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  3. You already know how I feel, 😉 but I wanted to put my thoughts on here as well! I feel like it takes bravery and humility to voluntarily put yourself in a glass house by writing about your life, thoughts, ideas! We are all walking each other home! Also, like Michelle mentioned, I feel like your job is your mission field, and your blog posts feel like your are sending us a mission letter!

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  4. Amen to all that's been said.

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  5. I love your writings, and not one time did I think you are being self centered. On my behalf, please don’t quit! ��

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  6. I have pondered what an all-about-me life would look like and I find no semblance in yours, Wendy!! I would like to contest that statement. It really got my ire up. We ALL have things we enjoy and do. I know you like to stay home, but do you? No, you go out and share your talents in a challenging work environment. You are there for your nieces and nephews, and on your “off” time you make your home a nice place to be. I could go on, but this will suffice. I feel like a SAHM life could be more all-about-me than yours. Cheers! You are filling your place in a wonderful way!! 😘

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